An Ocean Between Them
by jncar
Summary: Kingsley questions Tonks about her relationship with Snape during the war, and makes a revelation that could change her life forever. PostDH AU. SnapeTonks, KingsleyTonks.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Notes:**This was written for the October 2007 "Beyond the Grave" challenge at Colourfulbat on Live Journal, for the prompt "divide." This is both Snape/Tonks and Kingsley/Tonks. Enjoy!

An Ocean Between Them: Chapter 1

Kingsley poured two cups of tea, adding only lemon to his own, but heavily doctoring the other with milk and sugar. He carefully placed the extra cup on the far side of his large walnut desk in front of the cozy leather visitor's chair, and then walked back around to his own chair and took a seat, waiting.

His four years as Minister for Magic hadn't been easy ones. The stresses of rebuilding after the chaos of the war had forced him to stand strong in the face of any and all opposition. Unfortunately, his tough stance had often forced him to withdraw from his old friends, isolating him from the people he used to lean on.

Things had finally started to ease up over the past six months, but he still felt more isolated than he liked.

Frankly, he was lonely.

But things were starting look up.

"Good morning, Kingsley," said Dora brightly, striding into his office and making herself comfortable in the visitor's chair. She picked up her tea and took a long sip. "Mmm. I think you make my perfect cup of tea better than I do." She smiled brightly.

"It's all part of what makes me such a damned good Minister," he replied, grinning.

He'd considered Dora to be a friend from the time she was still an Auror trainee working to impress Moody. He'd stood by her during her painful separation from Remus, watched over her and her family during those final terrible months of the war, and supported her during her long recovery from the injuries she sustained during the battle of Hogwarts. More recently, he'd been thrilled to see her take to her new job as Assistant Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement with gusto. All the while he'd convinced himself that she was nothing more than a friend. But in the past few months he'd been forced to look inside himself and admit that his feelings for the lovely young widow ran much deeper than that: he was falling in love with her.

A fact which made today's meeting all the harder.

"So, how's Teddy doing?" Kingsley asked, hoping to ease slowly into the more difficult topics.

She grinned. "He's well. Still driving Mum batty with his mischief. Yesterday she caught him running through the yard in nothing but his pants, and he'd somehow managed to morph himself into red and white stripes."

Kingsley chuckled, and shook his head. "Were you that bad when you were his age?"

"I was worse."

"I should have guessed."

"Yes, you should have. You know, Teddy still talks about that Hippogriff game you played with him last time you were over for dinner. We'd love to have you again if you could make some room in that busy schedule of yours."

Kingsley tented his fingers in front of him. This was exactly the invitation he'd been hoping for—if only it had come at a more opportune time. But he was never one to pass up an opportunity. "I'd love to come over again."

"We're free on Saturday, or next week on Saturday or Sunday."

"I'm afraid I'm already committed to a dinner meeting this Saturday…"

She smiled and shook her head. "I should've known."

"But," he continued, "I will be free next Sunday."

"Wonderful," she said. "Write us down right away, because you, my friend, have a date."

Kingsley felt a sensation of warmth spreading through him at the word "date." He knew that seeing a widowed single mother like Dora would be a tricky undertaking, but he was a patient man. And she was worth the wait.

"Excellent," she said. "Now that we've got that settled, what was it that you needed me for today?"

Kingsley took a deep breath. He hated to break the mood, but it was now or never. And never wasn't an option.

"There's an investigation that Arthur's been quietly working on for some time now, and we've decided that it's time to tell you about it," he said.

Her smile faded. Arthur was the Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement and her immediate superior. Normally she was a part of each and every investigation that passed through their offices. "Why was Arthur investigating something without telling me about it?"

"Because," Kingsley paused, "we had strong reason to suspect that you were involved in the matter under investigation."

Her eyes widened, and her mouth pursed. "I…assume you're going to enlighten me about all this?"

He nodded. "Don't worry. You're not under any kind of suspicion."

"That's good, I suppose. But I'm still rather confused."

"I'm sorry." He took a deep breath. "I know you hate talking about the war—that you'd rather leave that all behind you. But we need your help to fill in the blanks that we've encountered during this little investigation of ours. You see, we're still trying to piece together Severus Snape's role in the war. He and Dumbledore were so damn secretive that trying to figure out exactly what they were up to is causing us all sorts of headaches."

She nodded warily.

"We've…come to an impasse. We can't proceed any further in our investigation unless we find someone who had first-hand knowledge of his actions and motivations during the war. That's what brings us to you."

She began to nibble on her bottom lip, as she always did when she felt stressed or uneasy. He hated doing this to her.

"You see," he said, "there were rumors, for quite a while, that you and Snape were…involved. I was hoping that you might be able to shed some light on things for us. What, exactly, was your relationship with Severus Snape?"

Her jaw and neck looked tense, and her eyes were hard. "I've often wondered if anyone would ever ask me that question." She looked down at her hands, and then back up into his eyes. "We were lovers. That's what you wanted to hear, isn't it?"

"Only if it's the truth."

"It is," she said with a blank, unreadable face.

Despite the persistent rumors, Kingsley had never brought himself to believe it, and it shook him deeply to hear it confirmed. Lovers—with Snape? The whole idea seemed ludicrous.

He coughed uneasily. "When…when did this involvement with him begin?"

She looked away, staring out the large artificial window that graced the wall of his office. Today the view was of an idyllic pastoral scene—a meadow with a pond, a few small groves of trees, abundant wild flowers, fluttering butterflies. Kingsley wished he could take her away to a place of such peace and beauty right now, instead of forcing her to relive a painful past.

"It was during the Tri-Wizard Tournament. The Auror Department considered it a low-risk event, so they sent their most junior Auror to supervise the security."

She seemed to be lost in her thoughts. Kingsley sat back, and quietly waited to hear what she had to say.

"I was worried about Alastor. He hadn't seemed himself since taking the post at Hogwarts. He was supposed to meet me at the Three Broomsticks my first night in Hogsmeade, that October. But he stood me up. We were so close during training…I was very upset. And I saw Severus there. I approached to ask him what he thought of Alastor's state of mind, and if he could help me get through to him. It was nice to talk to him as one adult speaking to another. I'd had a crush on him for years while he was my teacher. My friends all thought I was nutty, but I couldn't help myself. When I left him my address and asked him to get in touch with me if he noticed anything amiss with Alastor, I was more than halfway hoping that he would get in touch just because he wanted to."

A strange half-smile danced on her lips as she continued to share her memories. "And he did. We started writing each other four or five times a week. And just before New Years, we started seeing each other.

"At first I convinced myself that it was all just for fun. I was only twenty-one, and I wasn't looking for a serious relationship. So I told myself that it was just a casual adventure. I was sleeping with this fascinating, mysterious older man. And the ex-Death Eater thing added a tantalizing feeling of it being forbidden."

She paused, and finally glanced back at Kingsley. "I'm sorry. I've never told anyone about this before—not even my mum. Not even Remus. But you probably don't need to know all this, do you?"

Kingsley shook his head. "I certainly don't need all the details. If you'll just answer a few simple questions, it will be enough."

She nodded. "All right. I'm ready."

He was beginning to feel distinct discomfort in his belly. He took another sip of his tea, and tried to force himself to stop thinking like a potential suitor talking to his object of affection about her ex, and to start thinking like an Auror conducting an investigation.

"Were you still involved with him at any time after he resumed his work as a spy?"

"Yes."

He blinked in surprise. "But…I thought that you and Remus became involved not long after you joined the Order?"

"Yes to that, too," she said, looking out the window again. "Right after the Tournament ended—right after Severus had to go back to being a spy again—he broke things off with me. I didn't find out until much later that he did it to try to protect me. He didn't want to place me in harms way. He didn't even want me to join the Order." She looked back at Kingsley with a sad smile on her face. "I don't think he ever forgave Alastor for recruiting me into the Order. It made him furious."

"So he broke up with you right before you joined the Order?"

She nodded. "Yes. That's actually why I started spending so much time with Remus and Sirius. I wanted to get back at him for chucking me so viciously. He was rather nasty about it. And it came right when I was starting to think of our relationship as something that might go long term—I was ready to get serious." She sighed. "In retrospect I'm not really sure whether it was really Severus I was ready to get serious with, or if my biological clock suddenly lurched and my instinct to mate for life kicked in. I certainly didn't plan on falling in love with someone else so quickly—but I was well on my way to being completely in love with Remus by Christmas time."

"When did you and Severus get back together? Was it…while Remus was away on his mission?"

"Right again," she said softly. She nodded. "Before he left Remus chucked me for the exact same reason Severus had: to protect me. Those two might have seemed vastly different on the surface—but if you dug a little deeper they were amazingly similar." She let out a quiet, empty laugh. "But I suppose I was the only one who was in a position to know that, wasn't I?"

"Do you… need a break? I know this must be difficult for you."

She shook her head. "No. I'm all right. It's actually something of a relief to finally be able to talk about it. It's hard, having to keep something like this a secret for so many years."

Kingsley leaned forward, looking at her intently. "You didn't have to."

"Yes. I did. Harry…I love the boy, but he's so single-minded sometimes. He has this vision of Severus in his head—that he was some sort of misunderstood martyr that lived his life in tribute to Lily Potter." She shook her head again. "Harry's done so much for me, and for Teddy. I didn't want to be the one to burst his bubble. I didn't want to be the one to tell him that Severus was much more complicated and much more human than the image of him that Harry's built up in his mind. And I knew if I told my mum or Molly it would eventually make it back to Harry. There was no one else I could talk to—so I just didn't talk."

Kingsley frowned at the melancholy, faraway look on her face. He wanted to tell her that she could have come to him, but he knew it would be a lie. Until this year they hadn't been close enough for her to trust him with this sort of confidence.

"I'm sorry," he said. "But I'm glad that talking about it now helps."

She smiled up at him. "It does. Thank you."

He smiled back, and then looked down, and toyed with his teaspoon. "There're just a few more questions."

"Okay."

"When did you and Snape resume your relationship?"

"Well… we kept avoiding each other for the whole summer. Then, the first day of the fall term at Hogwarts he saw my new Patronus and insulted it to my face. I was furious. I managed to corner him at the Three Broomsticks less than two weeks later to give him a piece of my mind. I was shocked when he apologized for hurting me. He confessed to me that the same thing had happened to him and his Patronus. He didn't tell me who, but he said he loved someone who was killed at the end of the first war, and that after she died his Patronus changed, and that was why he knew just what mine meant. He told me that he hated that Remus meant as much to me as that woman had to him.

"It amazed me that after all that time he still cared enough about me to be so bitterly jealous like that. But what happened next amazed me even more. He told me that he hated seeing me like that, and that he wanted to help. He promised that he wasn't making a play to get me back in bed with him—he just cared about me and didn't like seeing me so unhappy. It was so unlike him to open up like that. It caught me completely by surprise. But I really needed a friend right then, so I agreed to let him help me."

Kingsley raised his eyebrows. "What do you mean by help?"

"Oh…potions to help me sleep, and to energize me during long shifts. And he taught me some mental exercises and meditation techniques. But the biggest help was just having someone to talk to again. Someone who I didn't have to lie to. And he felt the same way."

Now they were getting somewhere. "Did he confide any of his plans or secrets in you?"

She shook her head. "No, not then. He just started opening up more about his past, and about his feelings. It wasn't until we started…well… you know…sleeping together again…that he started opening up about his work as a spy."

"When was this?"

"January was when we got together again. But he didn't tell me anything until February. He started opening up about Draco and his assignment. I wanted to solve the problem by having Draco expelled, but Severus had been forced into an Unbreakable Vow. He couldn't back out of helping Draco. I only wish that he'd told me the full extent of that Vow. He never confided in me that Dumbledore expected him to kill him."

"And he didn't tell you more about the Death Eater's plans?"

She shook her head. "Just the same bits and pieces that he passed on to the rest of the Order." She laughed to herself. "It seems funny in retrospect, but most of what he did share was just silly gossip about the Death Eater's personal lives and personality quirks. I think he used me to vent his frustration with them all."

"So you don't know anything that could help us track down the final fugitive Death Eaters?"

She frowned at him. "Kingsley! You should know perfectly well that I would never hold back information that could bring them to justice. If I knew anything at all that would help, I would share it. But I don't."

Kingsley shook his head, embarrassed to have asked such a thing. "I'm sorry. I should have known better. I trust you, Dora. But the whole thought of you with Snape has me a little unsettled."

"I don't see why it should."

That was the problem. Would she ever see how his feelings for her had changed? And would it matter to her if she did?

"It shouldn't. But it's hard to let go of old prejudices."

She rolled her eyes. "You and your damn Gryffindors. You're all so stubborn."

He smiled, and shrugged. "I thought it was part of our charm?"

She laughed, and shook her head. "Keep dreaming."

He was glad that the mood had lightened. There were still some very serious matters to address, and he didn't want her going into them already upset.

"Okay, Dora. Time to get back to business. Were you still involved with him when he killed Dumbledore?"

"No." She looked distant and melancholy again—such a sharp contrast from her smile mere moments before. "He broke up with me three weeks earlier."

Kingsley pursed his lips. "Was he…trying to protect you again?"

She shook her head. "I wish. No. This time he chucked me because he found out that I was exchanging letters with Remus behind his back. He felt betrayed, and I don't blame him."

"Were you still hoping to get back together with Remus?"

She sighed. "I don't know." She shook her head and stared back out the window. "In his own way, Severus had been more faithful to me than Remus had been. But at the same time I could never bring myself to fully trust him. There were plenty of times when I could tell he was lying to me. On the other hand, Remus was always completely honest with me—even when it hurt. And it was easier to picture a long future with a man who was honest with me than with one who wasn't. But I just couldn't knock any sense into him." She looked back at Kingsley. "I'm rambling again, aren't I?" she said with a small smile.

"I don't mind." Kingsley was actually finding himself fascinated by her tale. From what he remembered of her during that time period, he never would have suspected that she was caught up in such a complicated romantic triangle. Clearly, she was a better actress than he ever would have guessed.

She rolled her eyes. "Thanks. But for all the drama, it really just boiled down to a stupid cliché. I was in love with two men, and I didn't want to have to choose between them. So Severus made the choice for me."

"That must have been hard for you."

She nodded. "It was. But, like the immature fool I was, I tried to sooth my broken heart by trying even harder to win Remus over. For some reason I convinced myself that if I could just have him, it would somehow make losing Severus worth it. I was so naïve."

Kingsley leaned forward, and reached across the table. "You were young. You did what most young people in your position would have done."

A thrill surged through him when she reached out to put her hand in his. "You're probably right," she said with a quaver in her voice. She looked down at her lap. "And I try to tell myself the same thing. But it's hard to believe sometimes. I can't help but think that if I'd tried to make amends with Severus instead of throwing myself at Remus…that the war might have gone differently. That it might have ended sooner."

Kingsley's eyes narrowed, and he squeezed her hand. "Dora?"

A small sob escaped her lips. "If I'd stayed with Severus instead of Remus, maybe he would have confided everything in me. Maybe we could have worked together to help Harry. Maybe all those deaths could have been avoided…"

"No," he said firmly. "Look at me, Dora."

She raised her dark eyes to meet his, and a few tears ran down her pale cheeks.

"None of what happened was your fault. You can't know that Snape would have confided in you—and if he _had_ there would have been a higher chance of both you being exposed. No one can blame themselves for what happened—least of all you."

She gripped his hand convulsively, and looked away, shaking her head. "But I could have changed things. I had the chance. I just let my anger get in the way." She paused, taking several deep breaths to control her emotions. "I was so angry and confused by what he'd done to Dumbledore. And half the time I was angry at myself for ever trusting him and loving him, and the other half of the time I was angry at myself for not trusting him enough for him to confide in me."

She slowly pulled her hand away from Kingsley. "I never would have rushed into marriage so quickly if it hadn't been for that anger. I thought that marrying Remus would somehow heal that horrible aching hurt inside of me." She emitted a low, bitter laugh. "Like I said before—I was so naïve.

"Then, when Remus left after Bill's wedding…I was angry at him too. And angry at myself for being careless enough to get pregnant at the worst possible time. Remus had been gone for nearly two weeks when I got a letter from Severus."

Kingsley sat up straighter, and raised his eyebrows. Before today he'd believed that Snape never tried to contact anyone in the Order. He wasn't entirely sure how he felt about all of Dora's revelations today. He certainly understood why she'd kept so much to herself. Public feelings about Snape were so violently mixed in the year following the war that she surely would have faced harsh persecution if the details of her past had been known—and things had been hard enough being the widow of a werewolf.

"What did the letter say?" he asked.

She took another deep, steadying breath. "He confessed everything. About Lily. About his plan with Dumbledore. About the orders he'd been left with." Tears once more streamed down her face. "He begged me to forgive him…and to trust him. But I wouldn't. I was so confused and angry and lonely that what I really wanted was someone to believe in. So when Remus came back begging for forgiveness the day after I got the letter, I forgave him. I needed someone to hold onto, and Remus became that someone. I wrote Severus that I could never trust him, and asked him to never contact me again."

She fell silent, and stared down at her folded hands resting in her lap.

She'd barely touched her tea.

Kingsley nodded. "Thank you for sharing this, Dora. I know it's been hard for you. I need you to understand that even if you had believed Snape after his letter, none of the rest of us would have. And none of us knew where to find Harry, so your information would have been of no use even if we had believed him. You can't blame yourself."

She finally looked back up at him, with the corners of her mouth slightly turned up. "Thank you. I wish I could feel the same way."

"Maybe someday you will. I certainly hope so."

"Me too."

Kingsley finished the last of his tea. "So, was that the last time he contacted you?"

"Not quite. Just before Teddy was born he sent a short note saying that he was doing his best to protect me from Bellatrix, but that he couldn't hide me forever. He advised me to flee England before it was too late. I didn't reply. I just threw it in the fire. And then, the night of the Battle of Hogwarts he sent me a Patronus message with the same warning: that I should take my baby and get out of England."

She sighed again. "I wish I'd taken his advice."

Kingsley rested his elbows on the desk and tented his fingers together. "So he still cared about you to the very end."

She looked down again and nodded in assent.

Kingsley nodded back. It was time to tell her the real reason of this interview. "I didn't ask you these questions just to make you uncomfortable," he said, smiling. "Like I said, we've been conducting an investigation."

She looked back up at him. "I was wondering if you'd ever get to this," she said.

"It's part of our review of war-era records from Gringotts."

She nodded. She had been at the fore-front of a multi-departmental team that spent more than two years negotiating with the goblins for access to the war-era records. The hard won privilege had only been granted two months earlier, and already the information gleaned had helped them to capture two fugitive Death Eaters.

"And," said Kingsley, "I know you remember the large sum that was anonymously transferred to your son shortly after the Batlle of Hogwarts?"

She nodded again. "How could I forget? I'll always be grateful to whoever cared so much about my family as to give us that gift. Did you find out who did it?"

Kingsley nodded. "Yes and no. The goblins refused to reveal the name of the donor—they take anonymity very seriously. However, after analyzing the records of the day of the battle and the day following the battle, we were able to find a correlation."

Dora's eyes widened. "What did you find?"

"The same hour that the money was transferred to your son, all of the money from Severus Snape's vault was withdrawn. His vault contained only two hundred Galleons more than the amount of the donation to Teddy."

Dora looked pale. She nibbled on her bottom lip. "You're not really suggesting what I think you're suggesting—are you?"

Kingsley smiled. "That Snape mysteriously survived his injuries and left the bulk of his savings to your son before fleeing the country with the rest? Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying."

She looked frozen in time—a pale, wide-eyed statue.

"No," she whispered. "It's not possible."

"It's completely possible," said Kingsley. "We always wondered how the Shrieking Shack came to burn down at the same time the battle was raging inside the castle. And the body found in the ashes was never positively identified as Snape—we all just assumed that it was him.

"After looking at those bank records, Arthur and I began to suspect what had happened. The one missing piece of the puzzle was why. Why would Snape choose to leave most of his money behind to your child? That's why I brought you here today. And you've given me the answer I needed.

"Snape left the money to Teddy because he was still in love with Teddy's mother. With you."

She shook her head. "It can't be…it's not possible…"

"It's very possible," replied Kingsley. "None of the other transactions at Gringotts that day could account for the donation to Teddy. This is the best explanation that we've found. And there's more."

"More?" Her eyes bored into him with a strange fiery light, and her fingers gripped the edge of his desk.

Kingsley nodded. "You know we get ridiculous reports of Snape sightings nearly every month. Well, two weeks ago a report of just such a sighting came to us from America. From a worker at a Potions Research company that claims one of his co-workers is Severus Snape. We've done some follow-up, and this man is the most credible witness we've yet found in a Snape sighting. There's a very good chance that he's telling the truth."

He placed his palms flat on the table, and looked Dora right in the eyes. "After what you've told me today, I am virtually convinced that Snape is alive and well, and living in Boulder, Colorado."

* * *

Kingsley stood beside Dora in the waiting room of the International Portkey Travel Authority. Her Portkey to New York City would be leaving in five minutes. From there, she would travel on to Colorado.

"Are you absolutely sure you want to do this?" he asked for what felt like the hundredth time.

"For the last time, yes!" she insisted. "Teddy will be perfectly fine with my mum for a week or two." She looked him hard in the eyes. "You know I have to be the one to see him—if it really is him. It has to be me. Anyone else would just set him running, and he'd be damn sure that we'd never find him again."

"Besides," she added, "I have a lot of things that I need to say to him. We both have a lot of things to say."

That was exactly why Kingsley wasn't sure he wanted her to go. Would seeing her old lover again rekindle her feelings for him? And how would he feel about her in return? Kingsley could already feel her slipping through his fingers.

He was losing her.

He'd seen it in her eyes the instant he told her Severus was probably still alive—the burning hope and excitement. She would never feel that much passion for him. It was futile.

But maybe—just maybe—she'd find no one waiting in Colorado. Maybe it was all just a hoax.

He forced a smile onto his face, and hugged her tightly in farewell. "Take care of yourself, Dora. And good luck."

His heart sank in his chest as he watched her and three other passengers vanish with the International Portkey.

Would he ever see her again?

His mind was troubled for the rest of the day. He received a report from her a few hours later that she had successfully arrived in Denver, and would be moving on to Boulder the next day. She said that she would report back as soon as she had news.

Two days passed without word.

He was anxious and agitated. He tried to drown his worries with work, and hid away in his office.

Finally, at the end of Dora's second day of non-communication, he heard a knock on his office door. Most of the other Ministry officials would have already left for the day. Kingsley sighed. It was probably some young ambitious new employee looking to gain favor by staying late.

He might as well see them. "Come in."

The door opened, and a stranger entered. "Can I help you?" Kingsley asked.

"I certainly hope so," said an eerily familiar voice.

Kingsley started to his feet as the stranger's disguising glamours fell away. He was staring into the face of Severus Snape.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: **I forgot to mention with chapter 1 that the plot of this story was partly inspired by one of my favorite old movies, "A Town Like Alice." (It's also a book, but I've never read it.) Enjoy. :)

An Ocean Between Them: Chapter 2

Kingsley's mind was boggled. Severus Snape—here—in his office. But why?

The man had certainly changed since Kingsley last saw him. His hair was now clipped close to his head, and his face sported a short, well-groomed beard liberally sprinkled with grey. His skin looked tanner, and he may have even gained some weight. Nevertheless, there was no denying that it was indeed Severus Snape.

Snape raised an eyebrow. "I take it you're not happy to see me?"

Kingsley straightened up and frowned, trying to regain his composure. "I am neither happy nor unhappy. You merely startled me."

"Of course." He sounded unconvinced. After a pause, he added, "I need to talk to you."

"I'd assumed as much. You'd hardly waltz in like this just to say hello. But first, I'm going to have to ask you to surrender your wand—as a sign of good faith."

The corners of Snape's mouth turned down. "A sign of good faith? How do I know you won't arrest me as soon my wand is in your hands?"

"Because I give you my word that I won't."

"That's not good enough."

"It'll have to be if you want to talk to me. Otherwise, I'm going to have to ask you to leave. So, what will it be?" Kingsley extended his arm with his palm open, at once both gesturing toward his door and inviting Snape to hand over his wand.

Snape's frown deepened. "I have a feeling I'm going to regret this," he muttered, pulling out his wand and placing it in Kingsley's hand. Kinglsey ignored him.

"There," he said, tucking Snape's wand inside his robes. "That wasn't so hard, was it? Now, take a seat, and we can talk."

Kingsley sat back down behind his desk with a forced casualness, his mind racing. Was it even remotely possible that Snape's appearance at just this time was a mere coincidence? The likelihood seemed very low. Had he already talked to Dora? Had they—perhaps—been in contact all along? Had she deceived him? He felt a painful knot forming in his gut. No. He wouldn't believe the worst of Dora—not until there was evidence to support it. Right now, everything hinged on Snape's willingness to be forthright and honest with him.

Before Kingsley could even open his mouth to question him, Snape spoke. "Let me get something straight, Shacklebolt. I'm not here to make amends. I have no interest in living in England again. I don't want my return made public. I don't care about telling my side of the story. And above all else I do not want _Harry Potter_ knowing that I am still alive." He snarled the name with intense viciousness.

Kingsley raised his eyebrows. "You do know that Harry has been your biggest public champion?"

Snape continued to frown. "I'm very well aware of what _that boy_ has been saying about me. How would you like it if your most personal secrets were trumpeted to the masses, and your character was publicly distorted until you could barely recognize yourself in the accounts purporting to tell your story?"

Kingsley nodded and sighed. Most of Harry's mentors and advisors had quietly agreed to let the young man persist in his attachment to the fantasy-image he'd created for Snape, but all of them personally agreed the Harry was pretty far from the mark in his beliefs. Snape had just confirmed as much.

Kingsley leaned back in his chair, folding his arms. "If you don't plan on setting the record straight, then why, pray tell, are you here?"

Snape scowled. He fidgeted in his chair. He glanced around the office. "I should have guessed you were positioning yourself for the Minister's job when you started those broadcasts of yours. I'd always suspected you of political ambitions."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence. You're evading my question."

"I'm not evading. I'm buying myself time. There's a difference."

Kingsley silently arched an eyebrow.

"I never wanted to bring you into this in the first place," Snape continued, pulling a cigarette case out of his cloak, "and I'm already starting to regret it. I'd be tempted to Obliviate you right now and walk out of here if you hadn't insisted on taking my wand."

"Then I'm doubly glad that I did."

Snape glared at Kingsley as he put a cigarette in his mouth, and held up a Muggle-style lighter to light it.

Kingsley raised an eyebrow. He never would have imagined Snape choosing to use Muggle technology—perhaps the man had changed more than his appearance these past four years. "I'd prefer if you would refrain from smoking in my office."

Snape looked him in the eye, took a long drag, and blew a long stream of smoke right at Kingsley's face. "And I'd prefer not to be in your office at all. Unfortunately, we can't always have what we want."

"What exactly _do_ you want, Snape?"

Snape took another drag, and fidgeted in his chair.

"I'm still waiting," said Kingsley.

"I'm looking for Tonks," Snape blurted, flushing. He looked almost embarrassed. "I watched her house and her mother's house for two days before I was certain she wasn't there. So today I disguised myself and started looking for her here. Your security is abominably lax. You should fire whoever's in charge—he's doing a deplorable job." He tapped his ashes into Kingsley's empty teacup.

"I'll certainly have a long talk with him tomorrow," said Kingsley, frowning at Snape's disrespectful behavior. That Snape was looking for Dora was the last news he'd wanted to hear.

"Good."

"So your snooping eventually led you to me?" Kingsley asked.

Snape scowled again at the word snooping. "Yes. One of your minions let it slip that you'd sent Tonks out of the country on a top secret mission. So I was left with the choice of talking to either you or Arthur Weasley, and that man is about as discreet as a lonely jarvey. So here I am."

Kingsley shifted in his chair, and stared down at Snape. How dare he waltz in here after four years and expect to be treated as if he had a right to any information he wanted?

"She goes by Dora Lupin, now," he said. "You'd have known that if you'd bothered contacting her anytime in the past four years."

"Are you going to tell me where she is, or not?"

Kingsley leaned forward and rested his hands on the desk. "Top secret missions are top secret for a reason. I think you have a little experience with that."

"Don't play games with me, Shacklebolt." The cigarette smoke circled his head like gathering storm clouds.

Kingsley's ire was rising by the moment. "This is no game, Snape. You're still wanted for questioning regarding possible complicity in the deaths of Emmeline Vance and Charity Burbage."

"How can I be wanted? I've been presumed dead since the Battle of Hogwarts."

"Arthur and I have been fairly certain of your survival for some time now."

Snape sneered. "How very clever of you. You ought to be congratulated."

Kingsley was getting tired of this game. It was time to get serious. "Why are looking for Tonks?"

"I have my reasons."

"Are you still in love with her?"

Snape froze. His jaw clenched, and his eye twitched slightly.

The corners of Kingsley's mouth curled up. Now he had him. "Yes, Snape. She told me all about the two of you. We've grown very close over the past few years, Dora and me."

Snape's eye twitched again. "How much…did she tell you?"

"Enough to know that you still cared enough about her during your year as Headmaster to send her warnings to flee England. Enough to try to protect her from Bellatrix. And enough to leave most of your money to her son when you left for America."

Snape sat stiffly on the edge of his seat, his eyes burning, the cigarette lying forgotten in Kingsley's teacup. "You know about that?" he said in a tight, quiet voice.

Kingsley nodded. "I do."

"Does…Tonks…know?" For the first time in Kingsley's memory, Snape actually looked vulnerable.

Kingsley felt the same small thrill surging through him that he had back in his days as an Auror when he found a big lead in one of his cases. "Here's how this is going to work. You're going to tell me everything you know about the murders of Emmeline and Charity Burbage. And you're going to tell me everything you know about the handful of Death Eaters that are still evading justice. And if I like what I hear, I'll tell you a little more about what Dora's doing, and how she feels about you."

Snape frowned, his eyes narrowed. "You haven't left me any choice, have you?"

Kingsley shook his head. "Not really, no."

"Fine. But I have a few conditions of my own."

"Name them."

"No one else is to know that I am here."

"Agreed."

"I'll need a safe place to stay."

"I can arrange for that."

"And I'll need a promise of immunity from prosecution for any crimes I may have committed out of necessity to maintain my cover."

"I'll consider it."

"Consider it?"

"That's the best I can promise."

Snape rose to his feet, his fists clenched at his side. "Bugger this. Give me my wand. I'm leaving."

Kingsley stood up, placing his palms firmly on the desk. "Why did you come here now? You could've come to see her any time in the past four years—so why now?"

"It's none of your bleeding business! Now give me my wand."

"Come and take it," said Kingsley, straightening up and folding his arms across his chest.

The shorter, slighter man glared up at him.

Kingsley knew he'd won. It was only a matter of time—just how stubborn would Snape be? "If you answer my question, I'll reconsider your request for immunity. So—why now?"

Snape's nostrils flared as his chest filled with a deep breath. His lips formed a tight, angry line. Finally, his shoulders slumped slightly in surrender. "I thought she was dead. That's why I didn't come. Are you satisfied?"

"You honestly expect me to believe that you thought she was dead this whole time? She appeared in the first casualty list, but her name was removed from the second with a notable correction. Surely you saw it?"

"I never saw the casualty lists," Snape said, his voice rising. "I found her body lying on the battlefield. I tried to find a pulse...I felt for her breath…there was nothing…she was gone…" His voice shook with emotion.

Kingsley wasn't prepared for this. He'd never expected to feel…sympathy…for Snape. He wanted to hate the man for abandoning them all after the war, instead of remaining behind to help clean up the mess Voldemort had left behind. He wanted to hate him for sending Harry off to his death alone instead of standing by him. He wanted to hate him for not doing more to control the Carrows during their tenure at Hogwarts. And most of all, he wanted to hate Snape for still having a hold on Dora's heart, even after all this time.

But he couldn't.

Kingsley could only imagine what it must have been like for the man, to be rejected and cast off by the only person he trusted and loved, and left to weather that final horrible year alone. He could only imagine what it must have done to him to find the seemingly lifeless body of his estranged lover on that chaotic battlefield. If the same thing had happened to Kingsley, it easily could have broken his will once and for all.

It hadn't broken Snape. He'd still found the strength to give Harry the information he needed, and to somehow survive his injuries. And even then he hadn't succumbed to his grief and injury. Instead, he'd had it in his heart to think of Teddy, and to provide for him.

For the first time Kingsley wondered if Harry's fantasy version of Snape might not be so far from the mark, after all.

He stood, staring at Snape, at a complete loss for words.

Snape finally broke the silence. "I scanned the headlines for the first few days after the war. That's when I saw the rubbish Potter was spreading about me. And the vitriolic response from people to who refused to believe I'd been on their side all along. I didn't delve deeper, and I couldn't bear to look at the casualty lists. Once I made it to America I cut myself off completely. I avoided any and all news coming out of England. I wanted a fresh start."

Kingsley finally found his voice. "And you just now learned of her survival?" He still found it hard to believe.

Snape nodded curtly. "One of the managers at the company where I work left England during the first war. He's befriended me—God knows why. He likes to keep track of the home country, and he keeps large scrapbooks of news clippings from the _Daily Prophet_. I was at his home last week, and one of his scrapbooks was sitting out, open to a clipping about a young Ministry official spearheading new legislation requiring the Ministry to provide free Wolfsbane potion to all registered werewolves. I started reading the article out of professional interest, because my company is trying to develop an improved version of Wolfsbane potion. But what really captured my attention was the name of the young Ministry official: Dora Lupin." Snape paused, and gazed out the enchanted window with the same wistful look that Dora had worn on her face a few days earlier.

"I could hardly believe it. My friend told me I looked like I'd seen a ghost, and he must have been right. He let me look through all his old scrapbooks. I read through the whole post-war reconstruction in one night. And I poured over the articles on Tonks again and again. I couldn't believe she's been alive this whole time, and I've missed it. I didn't know what to do."

Yet again, Kingsley felt an unexpected surge of compassion. It seemed that Harry wasn't the only one over the past years who had built up a fantasy image of Snape in his mind. Being confronted with the real man was far different from what he ever could have expected.

"So here you are," said Kingsley.

Snape nodded. "Yes I am. But Tonks is still nowhere to be seen. Are you going to help me, or not?"

Kingsley pondered the situation quietly for a moment before answering. "Very well. I'll give you your immunity."

Snape slowly let out his breath, and nodded. "Thank you."

They stood in the quiet for a few moments. Finally, Kingsley said, "All right—time to put your disguises back on. Let's get out of here."

Snape nodded and began restoring the disguising glamours.

On their way out Kingsley stopped by the Auror department to pick up a few files on the cases he wanted Snape's help on. There were only two Aurors still at work, but Snape was edgy and uncomfortable the entire time there.

After leaving the Ministry, Kingsley Apparated across town, taking Snape side-along with him. They arrived at an upscale building of flats, and Kingsley led Snape to the fourth floor and let him into a large, attractive flat.

Snape's eyes darted around suspiciously. "Is this your place?"

Kingsley nodded. "One of the perks of my job. The downside is they keep me so busy I don't get to spend much time here." He hung his cloak carefully in the coat-closet and slipped off his shoes. "Do you have any baggage?"

Snape nodded. "I was staying in a small Muggle hotel."

"If you don't mind waiting until the morning, I'll have one of my minions go fetch it for you."

Snape raised an eyebrow at him, but nodded. "I can wait. You really want me to stay here?"

"I have plenty of room. Besides—this is the most secure flat in all of England. There's no safer place for you."

Snape scowled. "I'm not concerned about my safety."

"I am," replied Kingsley. "There's plenty of people out there who still hate you."

Snape continued to frown. "Fine. This will have to do. Now give me those files. Let's get this over with."

The two men stayed up late into the night dissecting the information from the files. Just as Kingsley had hoped, Snape proved an invaluable source of information. Before they finally retired for the night, Snape had already provided him with several excellent leads to pass along to the Aurors.

Just past midnight a seagull fluttered to the ledge outside Kingsley's living room window, and rapped on the door. It bore a message from America—from Dora.

Kingsley stepped into another room to read it, leaving Snape behind with the files. Dora wrote that she had been questioning the acquaintances of the man presumed to be Snape, and by all indications it was really him. Unfortunately, he had apparently left on holiday just before she arrived. She wondered if he'd caught wind of her coming and left purely to evade her. She asked how long she should wait—or if she should try to track him.

Kingsley rubbed his forehead to sooth the ache he felt building between his eyes. Her letter had betrayed no sense of continued loyalty to or affection for Snape—she was always very professional in her letters. However, when he closed his eyes he could still see the look of earnest hope on her face when he'd told her that Snape was alive, and the look of nervous determination on her face when she insisted on being the one to find him.

Kingsley took a deep breath. One part of him said that he should tell Dora the truth—that Snape was here looking for her. It was almost like fate had intervened to bring them together again.

But the other part of him didn't believe in fate. And it wasn't ready to give her up so easily.

He pulled out a fresh piece of parchment and scrawled a quick reply, ordering her to remain in place for another two days, and to further question the man's local friends and co-workers. If he played his cards right, he could time the end of her investigation to perfectly match Snape's departure from England. They would miss each other in transit. He attached the letter to the gull's leg, and sent it on its way.

Kingsley felt a slight pang of guilt when he returned to the living room to face Snape again. He could hardly look the man in the eye.

"I think that's enough for today," he said. "Let's call it a night. We can pick up here again in the morning."

Snape quickly agreed, and they headed for their respective rooms.

Kingsley's sleep that night was restless. His mind was troubled with bad dreams of giant waves crashing against rocky shores, cold winds whipping at his wet body, and Dora's lovely dark eyes staring at him with unspeakable disappointment in their depths.

* * *

Kingsley managed to cancel or postpone enough appointments the next day to come home from work early. That was a rare accomplishment, and it earned him more than a few puzzled glances from his associates. He simply couldn't stomach the thought of leaving Snape alone in his flat all day. Even without a wand that man was a menace.

He entered his flat expecting to see Snape still at work on the files he'd left for him. Instead, the living room was empty save for two neatly stacked piles: one of files, the other of notes. Kingsley glanced into the kitchen, the office, and library. Snape was still nowhere to be seen. That's when he started getting nervous. He looked into the bedrooms and even the bathrooms. Still no Snape. He never should have trusted him to keep his word.

His heart was pounding. He raced back to the living room to floo Arthur, when a strange object caught his eyes. It was a simple black suitcase sitting on the floor next to the door. It had to be Snape's baggage. Surely he wouldn't have left without it.

Kingsley walked over to the suitcase, unlatched it, and peered inside. It contained clothes, toiletries, and the other expected travel necessities. He closed it again, feeling slightly guilty. What now?

He paced back over to the neat piles of files and notes, and glanced at them. Sitting on top of the files was a scrap of parchment bearing the scrawled message: "I've gone to the pub down the street. –Snape."

Kingsley felt a surge of relief and embarrassment. He reminded himself that this strange new Snape was not the twisted, obsessive, secretive spy he'd always thought of him as. He still wasn't quite sure what to make of the Snape he'd only just begun to know through Dora's descriptions and his own personal experience. He needed to give the man the benefit of the doubt.

He left his building and headed in the direction of the three different pubs down the street. Naturally, Snape was in the last one he checked (the oldest and dingiest). He was sitting at the end of the bar with a half-eaten plate of chips and a mostly empty pint-glass.

Kingsley sat down beside him.

"How long have you been here?"

"An hour or two…I've lost track of time."

Kingsley could tell by his demeanor that the beer in front of Snape was most definitely not his first. If he had to guess, he would have said third. "It's a little early yet to get drunk, isn't it?"

Snape snorted, and shoved another chip in his mouth before puffing on a cigarette. "I finished my work by noon. Your library is woefully under stocked. I was board."

"So you decided to get pissed on cheap beer? Do you drink like this often?"

Snape glared at him. "Are you trying to psychoanalyze me, Shacklebolt?"

"Psycho-what?"

Snape snorted again. "I forgot. You're a pureblood. It's a Muggle term. It means trying figure out how someone's mind works. And no, I don't drink like this at home. I have better things to do with my time."

Kingsley ignored Snape's dismissive tone. Now that Snape was impaired by the alcohol, it might be Kingsley's only chance to, as Snape put it, figure out how his mind worked. "So you think of America as home now, do you?"

"Yes. I didn't expect to like it there. But…I do. The people there are refreshingly open-minded—albeit in a somewhat conceited way. And I live by the mountains. They tower over anything we'd call mountains here in England. I've really come to love the mountains." Snape had a faraway look in his eyes as he puffed on his cigarette.

Kingsley realized with a start that this was the first personal conversation he'd ever had with Snape. He wondered if any of the other Order members had ever had this sort of conversation with him, or if, like with Kingsley, they had restricted themselves to talk of business when Snape was around. It was starting to sink in just how lonely a life Snape must have lived—steeped in secrets, with no confidants beside Dumbledore.

His relationship with Dora must have meant everything to him. And losing her must have hurt him deeply. Kingsley remembered the look of amazed hope in Dora's eyes when he told her he believed that Snape was still alive. He was beginning to feel a pang of guilt over his plan to keep them apart.

He ordered his own pint and another for Snape. The two of them sat drinking in silence for several minutes. When Snape finished his first cigarette, he immediately lit another.

"Those will kill you, you know," muttered Kingsley.

"No, they won't. The company I work for produces an aromatic healing agent. You breathe in a vial once a week and it heals all the damage from smoking. You've got to give the Americans credit for being ingenious entrepreneurs. They're working on an international patent right now." As if to punctuate his remarks, he took a long drag, and blew the smoke out slowly, watching it swirl in front of his face.

"It's very good of them to provide a healthy way for people to enjoy their favorite vices," commented Kingsley.

Snape nodded silently.

After another few minutes of quiet drinking, he spoke. "I saw her boy, when I was watching her mother's house."

Kingsley held his tongue.

Snape stared vacantly into the cloud of smoke hovering in front of him. "He looked like a bright, healthy child."

"He is. He's already reading books that I couldn't tackle until I was seven or eight. And God only knows how he sat still long enough to learn to read in the first place. He has more energy than five adults put together."

Snape took a long drink from his glass. He set the pint down on the bar in front of him, gripping it tightly with both hands. "He's really Lupin's, isn't he?"

This took Kingsley aback, though it shouldn't have. Dora had told him how soon her marriage came after the end of her relationship with Snape. Kingsley nodded. "Yes. Teddy is Remus's boy."

Snape stared blank-faced into his drink. "Teddy. For her father." He paused. "He has Lupin's nose."

"And Dora's hair." Kingsley paused to take a long look at Snape. His expression was still unreadable, but a man didn't start drinking at three in the afternoon if he was at peace with the world.

"You really weren't sure, were you?" Kingsley asked.

Snape looked up at the rows of bottles lining the shelves behind the bar. "I was fairly certain he was Lupin's. She's not the sort of woman who would lie about the father of her child."

"She's not. But you still wondered."

Snape nodded slowly. "I still wondered."

"Is that why you left him the money?"

There was a long silence. Finally, Snape replied, "I left him the money because he's her son. That's all that really matters."

Kingsley pursed his lips thoughtfully, and finally asked a question that had been on his mind from the first moment Snape stepped into his office. "Why did you come looking for her? What were you expecting to find?"

Snape shook his head. "I don't know what I expected. Closure, I suppose." He paused. "Mostly, I think I'm just a masochist. I wanted her to finally tell me to my face that it was him she loved…not me. I did the leaving both times we split up. But I always wondered…if I hadn't ended it, would she have? I should have known the answer when I heard she'd married him. But for some reason I want to hear it in person. Maybe then it will finally be real. Maybe then I can finally let go." His murmur was barely audible, and was clearly spoken more for himself than for Kingsley.

All of Kingsley's long-held ideas of Snape were melting like ice in the sun.

After another long silence, he said, "Finish your drink. Let's get you back to my flat."

They were both quiet on the long walk home. The only sign of Snape's inebriation was an occasional slight stumble as he walked—but Kingsley politely ignored it.

Shortly after returning to the flat Snape excused himself, and shut himself in his room. Kingsley let him go. He deserved a chance to sleep it off.

Kingsley took the chance to review the files and notes stacked in his living room. As he poured over them, it soon became clear that Snape's detailed and specific annotations had provided more credible leads for the Auror force in less than two days than their own investigations had produced in four long years.

Kingsley set down the stack of notes, and rubbed his forehead. His growing feelings of guilt had incited a painful headache.

He found a pain remedy in the kitchen, and washed it down with some cold water. Absently swirling the half-empty glass in his hand he walked to the large window in his living room, and looked down on the bustling street below, letting his mind wander.

He sighed.

He'd spent the last four years building an administration based on a platform of trust, integrity, and openness. And he'd been on the verge of betraying those very principles out of selfish jealousy. No matter how much he wanted to keep Snape and Dora apart, he just couldn't do it.

He walked into his office, sat at his desk, and pulled out a clean sheet of parchment.

"Dora-

Snape is here in England. At first I couldn't believe that it was a coincidence, but the more I talk to him, the more that I see that is exactly what it is.

He came to me personally, looking for you. He offered assistance with some outstanding cases in exchange for immunity from prosecution, and I've granted it.

It's astonishing, Dora. This whole time, he thought you were dead. He found your body on the battlefield, and has believed you were dead ever since. He only learned of your survival last week from another expatriate, and he came straight here to find you.

He still cares for you—deeply.

As of today I am granting you two weeks of paid leave. I'm sending Snape back to you. Take your time. Make your peace with him.

Yours,

Kingsley."

* * *

Kingsley was waiting in the kitchen with some strong tea when Snape came out of his room in the morning.

Snape made no mention of their conversation in the pub, but merely thanked Kingsley for the tea and took a seat.

Kingsley gave him a long hard look, and then slid an envelope across the table to him.

Snape arched an eyebrow. "What's this?"

"A Portkey ticket back to America. You're going home this afternoon."

Snape's eyes narrowed, the corners of his mouth turning down. "I'm not letting you out of your deal, Shacklebolt. I did my part, now you do yours. What about Tonks?"

Kingsley smiled. "She's in Colorado, looking for you."

Snape's eyes widened in astonishment. "How…?"

"We got a tip from one of your coworkers. A bloke by the name of Thompson."

"Huh," said Snape. "I never once would have suspected him capable of such duplicity. He'd have made a fine Slytherin."

Kingsley chuckled. "Perhaps so. Dora left here a day before you arrived, but she stayed a night in Denver. That's why you missed each other in transit. I didn't tell her that I was fairly certain of your survival until a few days before she left. She thought you were dead, and as soon as she learned you might not be, she was determined to find you." Kingsley paused, as a look that could only be Snape's equivalent to nervous excitement spread across his face.

"She still cares about you Severus. She wants to make things right between you. I owled her last night to let her know you were here, and I told her to wait there for you. Go to her. Get your answers."

Snape stared at him for more than a minute, blinking and dumbfounded. At last, all he could say was, "Thank you."

**Author's Note: **I hope you enjoyed. One more chapter to go!


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Notes:**Thanks again to all my readers. :) I think that in this story I succeeded in my goal of writing a story that is both respectful of the canon pairing of Remus/Tonks, and also fully embraces the AU pairing of Snape/Tonks. The Kingsley thing, however, was as much a surprise to me as it was to you. Sometimes these things just write themselves. ;) Enjoy!

An Ocean Between Them: Chapter 3

Over the days since Snape's departure Kingsley's associates had quickly learned to avoid him. He was moody, quick tempered, and single-mindedly focused on his work. He knew he'd done the right thing when he sent Snape back to Dora, but it was hard to convince his heart to agree with his head. All he knew was that he hated having an ocean and half a continent between him and her, and he was heartsick at the thought of losing her forever.

He'd shared the news of Snape's visit and his help on the unsolved cases with Arthur and Head Auror Savage, and he'd also given them an abbreviated version of Dora's history with Snape. But he'd shared his feelings for Dora with no one. There was no point in complicating the situation any more than it already was.

Four days passed since the time of Snape's departure before Kingsley finally heard from Dora. "I hardly have the words to tell you how I feel," she wrote. "It's like some sort of crazy dream, and I keep waiting to wake up. I have no idea what exactly is happening between us—or where it might lead—but I am so grateful for the chance to make amends and clear the air. So few people get a second chance at something like this, and it's a wonderful feeling. Thank you for giving me this time.

"The hardest part about this trip is how much I miss Teddy. There's no way I can explain all this to him. What I'd really like is permission to tell my mum about Severus. I've never told her anything about our relationship, but I think it's really time for her to know, so that she understands why I'm still gone. If anyone can come up with a simple way to explain this to Teddy, she can. Please let me know what I can tell her as soon as possible."

Kingsley dropped the letter onto his desk, and rested his head in his hands. She wanted to tell Andromeda. She wanted to explain things to Teddy. That could only mean one thing: to Dora, this was far more than a chance to make amends with an old friend. It was a chance to start fresh with an old lover.

This was exactly what he'd feared. He'd lost her. He'd never told her how much she meant to him. Now, he never would.

Somehow he gathered the strength to write a friendly and encouraging reply, granting Dora permission to tell everything to her mother. As soon as he'd sent it, he retreated into his office after giving strict orders not to be disturbed.

He needed to be alone today.

* * *

"It was amazing. It was like all the barriers we'd maintained over the years suddenly fell down. Everything came pouring out in one great rush of words and emotions.

"For so many years we've had lies and secrets standing between us—but now I feel like I'm seeing the real man, without any deception, for the first time. I can't believe this is happening…"

Kingsley crumpled the letter in his fist. He had no desire whatsoever to finish Dora's account of how wonderful, miraculous and exciting it was to be falling in love with Snape all over again. What had she ever seen in that bad-tempered, greasy little weasel in the first place?

Did Dora simply like men who treated her badly? (He couldn't conceive of as Snape treating her anywhere near as well as she deserved). Would she have cared more for Kingsley if he'd spent more time belittling and insulting her?

He scowled in frustration and tossed the crumpled parchment into his rubbish bin.

In his more rational moments he could acknowledge that Dora and Snape seemed to have similar interests in literature and odd arcane knowledge, and their senses of humor would probably mesh fairly well. But was that really enough to build a serious relationship on? Especially with a child caught in the middle?

Kingsley gritted his teeth and stormed out of his office to get a fresh cup of tea.

For several days Kingsley had done his best to ignore the tumultuous emotions boiling inside of him, and to focus on his work.

He was pouring over a stack of new legislative proposals when he heard an unexpected knock on his door. "Vivian," he said, "I told you I wasn't to be disturbed until one o'clock…" he glanced up and froze.

Dora was there, standing in the partially open door, smiling at him.

She raised an eyebrow. "So, should I come back at one o'clock, then?"

An almost tangible feeling of relief surged through him. It was amazingly comforting just to see her again.

Kingsley quickly reigned in his feelings. There was no knowing if she was back to stay—or if she'd brought Snape back with her.

He rose to his feel with a smile. "Dora! Come in, come in!" He strode around the desk to meet her as she ventured deeper into his office, and wrapped his arms around her in a friendly hug. She returned the gesture, and it took all of his willpower to restrain himself from prolonging the embrace.

He released her and stepped back. She smiled up at him.

"I wasn't expecting you back for two more days," he said.

"I know," she replied. "But once I'd made up my mind I didn't see any point in waiting. Besides—I missed Teddy too much to stay away."

Her words stirred up the dying embers of hope in his chest, and he felt his heart pounding rapidly.

He carefully controlled his voice as he asked, "What did you make your mind up about?"

She took a deep breath, and looked deep into his eyes. "I'm here to request an extended leave of absence."

His heart immediately sank.

"I'm here to get Teddy," she continued. "I'm going to take him back to Colorado with me for a few months—as a trial run, to see if we'd be happy there."

Kingsley looked down at his feet. He couldn't stand to look into her eyes anymore. "Let's sit down," he said.

He turned and walked back around his desk, eager for the psychological distance of that barrier between them. He took a few deep breaths, trying to regain control of his thoughts.

He rested his hands on top of his desk, and looked up. Dora was sitting in the leather visitor's chair. Her relaxed smile had been replaced by a posture of uneasy tension. Kingsley hated doing this to her, but someone needed to talk sense to her. She couldn't just pack up her son for America to go live with her lover—it was utterly irresponsible, and she needed to see that.

"You're really serious about this, aren't you?" he said.

"I'm dead serious. I want this, Kingsley. Severus wants this. I wasn't sure, at first, if he could ever fit into my life with Teddy, but then I saw him with his friend's kids…. He's ready for this. I need to do this." She had a look of pleading in her eyes.

Couldn't she see how deluded she was? It didn't matter that Snape had helped with those old cases. It didn't matter that his actions during the war had been (mostly) vindicated. He was still a manipulative, secretive, bitter, angry man. He couldn't possibly be a good influence in the life of a happy and energetic boy like Teddy. Remus must be rolling over in his grave right now.

"You can't do this, Dora," he said. "If it was just you, I wouldn't stand in your way. But I won't just sit back quietly and watch you place your son's life in that man's hands."

Dora frowned. "You have no right to tell me how to raise my son. You don't know Severus like I do. He won't be the same kind of father that Remus would have been, but I believe in my heart that he _will_ be a good father. He said that he's ready for this responsibility, and I believe him. I love him, Kingsley, and he loves me."

Her words struck him like Stinging Hexes. She wanted Snape to be Teddy's father. She_loved_ him.

It was exactly what he'd been dreading to hear.

"Love isn't always enough to build a happy family on…"said Kingsley.

"I know," she replied quickly. "That's why I'm only asking you for a three month leave of absence. I'm not going to make a permanent commitment quite yet. But I need to try this. I'll regret it for the rest of my life if I don't."

"And if I don't grant you the leave of absence?"

She clenched her jaw. "If it comes to that—which I hope it won't—I'll resign. The opportunity to start fresh with Severus means more to me than any job ever will."

"But it's not a fresh start!" said Kingsley. He could hear the anger rising in his voice, and there was nothing he could do to stop it. "You have years of baggage between you. His whole life was built on deception and obsession. That is always going to be a part of him! You can't change it!"

"I don't care!" she retorted. "I know he's always going to have a dark side. I've known that from the start. I can handle it. And I don't care if it's not really a fresh start. So what? If you don't want to call it that, call it a second chance. Whatever. I don't care."

"He doesn't deserve a second chance!" The words slipped out of his lips before he could stop them. He knew he was wrong—he was speaking from jealous anger, not from rational thought. He wished he could take it back. But it was too late.

The look of hurt and anger on her face wounded him more than anything she could have said.

"Everyone deserves a second chance," she said quietly. "Harry even gave Voldemort a second chance, before the end. You aren't willing to do the same for Severus?"

Kingsley looked away, his face burning with shame.

"I gave Remus a second chance after he left me," she said. "How is this any different?"

Kingsley shook his head. She was right. When Remus left her to go spy on Greyback and his followers, he'd done it to protect her. He'd done it out of love. Were Snape's actions any different? But his heart still rebelled at the thought of Snape raising Dora's son. "The difference is," he said, "when you gave Remus his second chance, it was only your own future you were risking. There wasn't a child involved."

"Yes. There was."

The painful force behind her statement startled Kingsley into looking back up into her eyes. They were sparkling with tears that had not yet fallen.

"I wasn't talking about after his year with Greyback," she said. "I was talking about after Bill's wedding. When Remus left to find Harry. He wasn't planning on coming back."

Kingsley's eyes widened with amazement. Remus had been away from Dora for less than three weeks. He'd never had any idea that it was intended to be a permanent split.

"He didn't think he was ready to be a husband and a father. He was afraid of the dangers he might bring down on his own family. So he left. And when he came back, I gave him another chance. He proved that he could be a wonderful husband and father. He was everything I could have hoped for in those short months we had together. He rose above himself."

She paused. "I need to give Severus that same chance. I need to know if he can be more than he ever imagined he could be. Both of us deserve the chance to know."

Until this moment Kingsley had still harbored a deep hope that somehow she would realize things would never work out with Snape—that he would still have a chance to win her heart. But as he looked into her shining eyes, he could see that he was wrong. Her heart was fully given. It would never be his.

"Please, Kingsley. You've been such a wonderful friend to me over these past few years. I really want your support in this. It would mean so much to me. But I'm doing it. With or without your approval."

Kingsley closed his eyes and reached up to rub his face with both hands. He felt tired, and old.

He sighed. "Damn it, Dora. I'm never going to approve of that man, no matter how much you talk him up."

She looked hurt and crestfallen, so he hastily added, "But what I think doesn't really matter in the end, does it? You can have your leave of absence."

Her face lit up with her trademark brilliant smile, and Kingsley could feel his heart withering inside.

She thanked him profusely, and walked around his desk to give him a big bear-hug. He patted her on the back and tried to pretend that he wished the best for her. He thought he'd almost been convincing.

He only saw her one more time—very briefly—before she and Teddy departed for America five days later. He hadn't wanted to see her any more than that. It hurt too much.

As he sat alone in his office the day after her departure, pouring over paperwork, he felt a deeper longing and loneliness than he'd ever felt before. It was almost as if he could see his long, solitary future stretching out in front of him, with nothing and no one to fill it but the endless chores of a career politician.

This was never the life he'd wanted.

Life as a bachelor had been perfectly satisfying during his days as an Auror. That job had been more than enough to fill his life. But in this empty, compromise-filled world of politics he had longed for something of greater substance—something light, happy, and joyful. Dora had been his great hope for that better life. But she was gone.

It was time for him to accept his lot in life. Some people are simply meant to be alone.

* * *

Dora's letters came at a fairly steady pace over the next two months. She rarely had any complaints about her new life, and Teddy seemed to be adjusting to life in America very well. Apparently the friend from work that Snape had mentioned had a wife and several children, all of whom had gone out of their way to make Dora and Teddy feel welcome in the community. And if Dora's words could be completely believed, Snape was getting along well with her son.

Kingsley did his best to read her letters dispassionately, and to respond to them with genuine friendship. Eventually, it began to get easier.

What wasn't easy, however, was finding a suitable explanation to tell to Harry, who couldn't understand why Dora had whisked his young godson across the ocean from him. At times Kingsley was tempted to break his word to Snape and tell Harry the full truth. But so far he had managed to restrain himself. Harry would just have to learn to live with the doubt and the confusion.

Kingsley's reputation for having a short temper intensified, but he found that the reputation actually led his associates to be more diligent, efficient, and detail-oriented in their work. He even began to encourage the reputation.

There were moments when he still missed Dora keenly, and longed to see her and talk to her again. But his life was falling into a new pattern that soon filled up all the gaps she had left behind when she went to America. Life was moving on, and he was beginning to move on with it.

Which is why he was utterly surprised when he responded to a knock on his flat door one evening and found a red-eyed and weary Dora standing there.

"Hi," she said through a weak smile. "Can I come in?"

"Of course…of course," he said with wide-eyes, stepping aside to let her pass. His heart was suddenly racing and his mind was in a jumble.

"Do you…do you want some tea?" he asked, following her into the living room.

She rubbed her forehead and sighed. "No. Thanks." She looked up at him. "I'm sorry to barge in on you like this."

"It's no problem. Really. Please, sit down."

"Thanks." She smiled and sank down onto the couch. Kingsley sat down at the opposite end, and stared at her.

Her hair was short and brown, as it often was when she was stressed or emotionally agitated. Otherwise, she looked much as she had when he last saw her more than two months ago.

His sleepy mind was swirling in confusion. He could think of more than two dozen questions that he wanted to ask her, but he wasn't sure if it would be right to ask any of them yet.

Above all else, it felt very, very good to see her again.

After several moments of silence, he finally said, "So—you're back."

She nodded. "I'm back."

Kingsley coughed lightly, and asked, "For good?"

"It's looking that way."

He knew it was wrong to feel elated when she was so clearly hurting, but he couldn't stop the surge of happy excitement from surging through him. It was all he could do to stop himself from grinning.

"I'm so sorry," he said softly, while inwardly cheering.

She smiled wanly. "Thanks."

"And is Teddy…?"

"He's asleep at my mum's. We got in early this afternoon. Good old mum—she started her 'I told you so' lecture three hours ago right after we put Teddy down for the night, and showed no signs of letting up. I couldn't take it anymore. I had to get out of there." She paused, and looked at him with an air of sweet melancholy on her face. "Thanks for letting me in. I needed someplace to unwind from that."

"You're welcome anytime. You know that."

"I know."

It felt amazing to be the first person beside her mum that she wanted to see and talk to. Perhaps he hadn't missed out on his chance after all…. But first he needed to give her time to get over Snape. He couldn't push things. Not yet. Not while she was hurting.

"So…you probably don't want to talk about it, then?"

She shook her head. "Absolutely not. I don't want to talk about…I don't want to think about it. I just need a break."

Kingsley smiled encouragingly. "I'm happy to provide. Do you want to go out for drinks, or just to stay here and talk?"

She smiled back at him. "Stay here and talk…plus drinks."

"Sounds perfect. I have an open bottle of wine—would you like some?"

"Oh, yes."

Kingsley fetched the wine, and she asked him to catch her up on the goings-on at the Ministry. She said she intended to get back to work as soon as possible. After several hours of talking—without a single mention of Snape—she finally decided it was time to go home.

As she prepared to floo back to her mother's house, Kingsley pulled her into a warm, lingering hug. "It's good to have you back."

She squeezed him tightly before releasing him and stepping back. "It's good to be back. I'll see you tomorrow."

Kingsley couldn't wait.

* * *

For the first week, Dora remained uncommunicative about the reasons for her split with Snape, but Kingsley didn't mind. He was just happy to have her back around the Ministry. Every time he saw her, it brightened his day. He could tell that his staff had noticed a change in his demeanor, but he didn't care about that either. Let them think whatever they liked.

Dora threw herself enthusiastically into her work, and though she was slightly less chipper and a tad less focused than she had been before her leave of absence, she still did an excellent job. Kingsley went out of his way to make her feel welcome back, and to try to cheer her up.

He started sending her casual, friendly notes once or twice a day, and was delighted to get the same back in kind. He also tried to stop by her office for a cuppa as often as he could manage. He invited her, Teddy, and her mother out to dinner, and he even sent several housewarming gifts to her new flat.

At lunch together, just over a week after she returned to work, she finally spoke with him about Snape.

"You must think I was such a daft ninny to run off to America for him, like that," she said softly, sipping her coffee. "Hell—_I_ think I was a daft ninny."

Kingsley shook his head. "You weren't being daft. You were being…hopeful."

She laughed. "Now that my friend is why you're the politician and I'm not. You always know just how to spin things so they sound better than they actually are."

Kingsley smiled, and fidgeted with his cutlery before tentatively posing his question. "So…what went wrong between the two of you? Your last letter was only a week before, and you seemed to be doing fine."

She sighed. "I thought we _were_ doing fine. In fact, I thought we were doing more than fine. But the day after I wrote that letter, he started talking about making our arrangement…more permanent."

Kingsley raised his eyebrows. "Did he propose to you?"

"Not exactly…but it was clear that he was heading in that direction."

He felt a sick lurch of jealousy in his stomach, and had to remind himself that she was _here_ with _him_—not in America with Snape. She'd made her choice.

"You weren't ready for that step yet?" he asked.

"I was beginning to think that I might be," she said quietly, looking down at the scraps on her plate. "But then I told him that if we were going to make that kind of commitment, I needed him to go public with his identity."

Kingsley let out a low whistle. "I can imagine he wasn't too receptive to that idea."

"That's putting it mildly. Viciously opposed to the idea is more like it," she replied. "I told him that I wasn't going to spend the rest of my life lying to all of my friends back here—or worse, giving up those friendships for his sake. I said that the only way we would ever be able to have a peaceful, happy life together is if he came forward and admitted to faking his own death. During our whole relationship secrets and lies stood between us and happiness. I thought things had finally changed. But it seems I was wrong. He refused to listen. It was horrible. We fought for four days straight, and finally I just packed up Teddy and came home." Her voice caught in her throat.

It was clear that she was still feeling very brokenhearted over the way things had ended. Kingsley had to agree with her—a marriage to a man determined to keep his existence a secret from most of her friends never would have succeeded. It would have been hard on her, and even harder on Teddy. He was glad she'd been strong enough to make the right choice.

He reached across the table to grip her hand in a gesture of comfort. "I'm so sorry things had to end that way," he said. "I know how excited and hopeful you were. I'm sorry it didn't work out like you'd planned."

She shrugged, still looking down at her coffee. "Life never really does go according to plan, does it?"

"No, indeed it does not."

They both let the subject drop, and it didn't come up again.

Over the next few weeks Dora continued to be receptive of his attention, and within three weeks of her return, their friendship was stronger than ever. Kingsley was confident that in another two or three months it would be time to elevate his friendship to courtship. He was beginning to see a bright future stretching out in front of him.

* * *

The fourth Sunday after Dora's return, Andromeda hosted a "welcome home" dinner for Dora and Teddy. Kingsley attended along with Arthur and Molly, Bill, Fleur and little Victoire, and Harry and Ginny. The dinner went wonderfully well. Dora looked happier than he'd seen her since her return. Kingsley couldn't help but stare at her shining eyes and her brilliant smile. He was almost certain that Arthur and Molly noticed—but that wasn't necessarily a bad thing. Molly was a notoriously successful matchmaker, and he wouldn't mind having her on his side.

After dinner Dora insisted on helping her mother with the cleaning up while everyone else moved to the living room to relax and visit. Teddy and Victoire rapidly became the center of attention when he decided to make the shy toddler laugh by morphing his face and hair into outlandish color combinations.

The entire party was having so much fun watching the children that Kingsley was the only one to hear a soft knock at the door. He rose and went to answer it, only to find the dour-faced figure of Severus Snape looking back at him.

"Is she here?" Snape demanded.

Kingsley could feel his stomach tying itself in knots. Just when things had been going so well…

"Well, is she?"

Dumbly, unable to think properly, Kingsley nodded the affirmative. Snape pushed past him to stride into the house.

"Wait!" said Kingsley, but it was too late.

Snape strode directly into the crowded living room, and every eye in the room turned to him in stunned disbelief. Even little Victoire stared up at him, transfixed.

The momentary silence was broken simultaneously by Molly darting to her feet and drawing out her wand, and by Teddy jumping in the air and gleefully shouting, "Sev!"

Harry sat staring up at Snape, slack-jawed with wide, unblinking eyes.

Teddy bounded toward Snape, skidding to a halt right in front of him. Snape looked down at the little green-haired purple-faced boy, and the corners of his mouth twitched up slightly.

"Hello, Theodore," he said, crouching down and reaching out to shake the boy's hand.

"Hi Sev!" said Teddy, shaking Snape's hand enthusiastically.

"Did you get the book I sent you?"

Teddy nodded. "Yep! It's wicked!"

"I'm glad you like it. How's your mother been doing?"

"Not good. She acts like she feels good, but really she's sad a lot."

Snape frowned. "I'm sorry to hear that."

"But you'll cheer her up, won't you Sev?"

"I hope so. I hope so."

The entire party looked on dumbfounded during the unusual exchange. Snape straightened up, and glared around the room at them all.

"Yes," he said. "It's me. So what are you going to do about it?"

"Put away your wand, dear," muttered Arthur to his wife, while Fleur snatched up her daughter into a tight embrace.

At just that moment, Dora walked into the room.

"Oh my God," she said. "Severus…what are you doing here?"

That was the final straw for Harry. He leapt to his feet with wild eyes. "What the bloody hell is going on!?!"

Teddy gasped, and put a hand to his mouth. "Harry! You just said some naughty words!"

Harry sputtered in disbelief.

All the while Kingsley could feel his heart sinking lower and lower. This was finally it. Snape had come to give Dora exactly what she'd asked for.

It was over.

Snape turned to look at him over his shoulder, and then looked back at Harry. "I'm sure you're going to force me into some sort of lengthy interrogation about my private life, and demand that I wade through my difficult memories and talk over my…_emotions…_with you. But before you inflict that particular ordeal on me, I'm going to have to insist on speaking with Tonks. _In private_." On that last sentence, he looked meaningfully at Dora. Her expression was unreadable, but his was clear: he'd come to claim what was his.

She nodded. "Okay. We can go talk in the back garden."

He nodded back. "Good. Let's go."

As he followed her out of the room, he glanced over his shoulder and called, "Shacklebolt can explain things to you while we're talking."

As soon as Snape left the room, every eye was riveted on Kingsley. He caught Arthur's eye, and Arthur gave him a half-hearted smile and a little shrug. Kingsley sighed. He needed to banish the thought of Dora out in that garden with Snape from his mind, and this was as good a way as any.

"Sit down everyone," he said wearily. "I've got a long story to tell."

* * *

Nearly an hour had passed, and Harry was still peppering Andromeda with questions. Kingsley was just glad that she was more up-to-date on the intricate details of her daughter's past with Snape than he. He was delighted to hand the duty of filling Harry in over to her.

He began restlessly pacing the perimeter of the room. A few minutes later Teddy came running toward him, holding a large book in his hands.

"Look at this!" he said loudly. "Sev sent me this last week. It was addressed to me and everything!" He flung open the first page, to reveal an elaborate pop-up scene of a herd of dancing zebras. All of the pop-up figures had been charmed to actually dance, and a faint, up-beat melody could be heard emanating from the book.

Kingsley had never seen anything like it. Bill wandered over to join them as Teddy flipped from page to page, showing ever more elaborate magically animated musical pop-up scenes of various African animals. After a few minutes, Bill asked if he could hold the book. He looked at the back cover, and said, "This is from a Muggle publisher."

Kingsley raised his eyebrows.

"I think Snape charmed this himself," continued Bill. "I didn't know he had it in him."

"He does all sorts of great tricks," said Teddy. "He even promised to teach me some when I get older."

Kingsley stepped back as Teddy began listing off all of the "tricks" that "Sev" was going to teach him someday. He could hardly believe what he was hearing. Had he really been so wrong about Snape's potential as a parent?

He began to edge his way down the hall toward the back garden. He couldn't help himself. He had to see what was going on.

Kingsley made his way into the now-dark kitchen, and peered out the large window in the breakfast nook that looked out over the garden.

Snape and Dora were there, standing next to the old rail fence.

Dora was leaning against the fence, her pale face turned up toward Snape's with a peaceful, happy expression. Snape was standing far too close to her for Kingsley's comfort. One of his hands was resting on her hip, and the other was reaching up to toy with her hair, and to stroke her cheek.

They seemed to be talking earnestly with each other, staring deep into one another's eyes. After a few moments, Snape leaned forward to kiss her, moving his lips against hers with a gentle tenderness that Kingsley would never have thought possible from the man.

His heart pounded with anger, frustration, and shame over having intruded upon such an intimate moment. He'd been a fool this past month to think that things were finally over between Dora and Snape.

An ocean and the specter of death between had stood between them for four long years, and even that had not been enough to kill their feelings for each other. So then why would an argument and a single month's separation do the job?

Kingsley slumped as he walked back up the hall to the living room. He felt weary to the bone.

"I'm leaving," he announced to Arthur as he walked toward the front door. "Set up a meeting with Dora tomorrow. We'll have to work out how to handle the public relations aspect of this whole mess."

Arthur nodded. "I let you know as soon as we have a time. Goodnight, Kingsley."

Kingsley tried, unsuccessfully, to ignore the look of pity on Arthur's face. "Goodnight."

* * *

"I've just popped by to let you know that we've finally set a date," said Dora, grinning from the doorway of Kingsley's office.

It had been three months since that eventful "Welcome Home" dinner at Andromeda's house. Snape had been coming to and from England every few weeks since, staying for three or four days at a time. Bloody extravagant use of his money, in Kingsley's opinion.

They had officially announced their engagement one month ago.

Kingsley had done his best to draw back from Dora's life. He was still friendly to her during their meetings and their encounters in the corridors of the Ministry, but he'd been avoiding social gatherings where they might run into one another.

It was better this way. Less painful.

"Congratulations," he said, with a forced smile. "So when is the big day?"

"June third," she said. "I know, it seems a long way off still, but mum says she wants to do this wedding _right_, which means big and gaudy—not like with Remus." She shook her head. "She still doesn't like Severus much. I think she's hoping to cover up his less appealing attributes with her extravagant decorations."

Kingsley chuckled. "Yes—that sounds like your mother all right. So, will he be moving in here with you?"

She shook her head. "No. We'll still be doing the long-distance thing until the wedding. It's no fun, but we'll have the rest of our lives to make up for it. But…there is something important you need to know."

"What is it?"

She took a deep breath. "You'll need to start looking for a permanent replacement for me. We've decided to settle in America after our marriage."

This was the news he'd been waiting all month to hear—the final cut to sever the last thread still binding them together.

He nodded. "I thought you might say that."

"He'd never have any peace, here. You know that. You've seen the way people hound him, and stare at him every time he comes here."

"You're right," Kingsley agreed. "He'd have no peace at all. You're much better off in America. But we'll miss you and Teddy."

"I'll miss you, too. I'll be back for a month every summer with Teddy. And I still plan on sending him to school at Hogwarts, when the time comes."

Kingsley grinned. "There's no better school in the world."

"No, there certainly isn't."

They were silent for a moment, and Kingsley took the time to look carefully at the beautiful bright-eyed woman smiling at him. He'd been so sure that he loved her—but had he ever really known her? Her heart had always been a mystery to him. And it always would be.

"I'm happy for you, Dora." He found, as he said the words that he actually meant them. "I'm really, truly happy for you."

Her smile grew even wider. "Thank you, Kingsley."

There was nothing more to say.

He nodded curtly. "Go ahead and finish spreading the good news. I'll see you tomorrow at our meeting."

She nodded back. "I'll see you tomorrow."

She walked out his door, closing it gently behind her.

The End


End file.
